[EN] How my daughter teaches me to be more productive and set priorities

In an education guide I learned that our daughter is what is called an "emotional child". Besides many great character traits that our child possesses, an "emotional child" always has the urge to demand closeness to the most important people, in this case us as parents. And this despite the fact that it has an equally strong urge for independence. This conflict, which prevails in the child, requires a style of upbringing that seems to be somewhat unconventional for most educators.

Do the following points also apply to your child?
  • My child has been able to occupy himself alone for a very long time
  • Falling asleep is no problem - a little story and then it falls asleep by itself
  • My child never cries and has no tantrums
Does this sound familiar to you? Yes? Then they have NO emotional child. The described characteristics (there are a number of other distinguishing features) occur in about 7 out of 10 children. The remaining 30% are rather of the other "variety".

When our child was born, we had prepared our lives to give the child the best possible upbringing - which parents do not want that. We organized ourselves, got smart and thought that we would do everything better than the rest of the parents anyway.

Recently, my wife said that she had not slept properly for about five and a half years. Strangely enough, this also coincides pretty much with the age of our daughter, including pregnancy.

But what exactly is the superpower that she uses to make me a more productive person?

The characteristic that she can only occupy herself alone for a short time and relatively quickly seeks the closeness of someone who will spend time with her, play with her and give her the full attention she desires. This is exactly her superpower and I would also like to explain why:

A look at the phone? Already the child could have disappeared somewhere around the corner. Halfheartedly "get involved" in something? They would be exposed immediately and they would be told that they are not really involved.

I have learned that when it comes to my daughter, there can only be one solution: Forget everything else - it is unimportant at this moment because the whole focus should be on her. She teaches me to look at things with another eye, with another view. However, this presupposes that you have to get involved with them.

The learning curve I took was very flat at the beginning and it didn't jump up in a day. It was, and still is, a constant process, which I sometimes manage well and sometimes less well. We often have friction because it is the epitome of a perpetual motion machine.

Despite the many obligations I have in my job, I get into focus mode relatively quickly with my daughter. The phone is then somewhere in the corner. Not always ideal when my wife wants to reach me. Mails, chats and all other disruptive factors are rather secondary and only if I consciously allow it, I will respond to it.

It also teaches me to set priorities on days when I have less time for work because I have to take care of them. For example, if your day only has 7 hours, then use this time to schedule the tasks that are really important or that will move your project forward.

Right now, I admit, it's really hard and I am reaching my limits at times. There are sometimes phases in which you and I must be fully present, both privately and professionally. Overtime, extra workload, less rest, etc., all this is part of our lives and you should not waste the few hours you have with your family, in which you direct your thoughts towards what you are not doing at the moment.

This also works sometimes well and sometimes less well. But it gets better and better the more you train.

Why don't you give it a try?

Put your phone aside when you spend time with your family. Maybe just an hour at first, then an afternoon and then a whole weekend day.

Use relaxation methods that your child offers you out of a play mood: Painting (or colouring in) - or playing in the sandbox (Zen garden) - completely free of charge.

You will see how digital abstinence can enrich your life and you will feel better and better over time as you learn to set yourself apart.

Your family will thank you. Your own health, too. And so will your employer and your colleagues, as you will be more balanced, rested and in a better mood.

Good luck.